The Inhuman Experience

This is largely a rant about why I don't like the word "humanity" or "human" as an adjective for anything really. However, I will also go over my own personal experience with being otherkin, as well as how I think these concepts affect those who don't fall under the alterhuman category, so if you're a human, maybe you could still learn something from this! Idk lol im just some animal that writes entire fucking essays in the neocities html editor

Of course warnings I mention a bunch of dark topics like racial and sex discrimination, suicide, general oppression of minories, etc. If you don't wanna hear about sad things right now go read my "cool things in minecraft" post.

What am I?

Hi, I'm a spirit, from the Ori series! Now, you may be asking: "WTF?! How? I thought those were fictional?" and you would be correct! However, I identify as one, and I'm going to try to explain my relationship with this concept.

Ok so obviously, a spirit is a fictional creature, and I do not physically have the shape of one in real life. However, I find it comforting to think of myself as one, and when I look at an image of one I get this subconscious reaction of "that's so me". It's a form I vibe with a lot and would absolutely LOVE to be. I also feel like I personally fit a lot of the behavioral patterns of this creature. Looking at the Ori games, there isn't a lot to go off of, but I really love nature, and I feel very cozy around trees (actual tree hugger by the way hugging trees is awesome you should try it). I feel uneasy around humans, and prefer to stay away from their paths and roads, instead preferring to walk on the grass next to the sidewalk rather than the sidewalk itself.

So! What fucked up array of mental disorders must I have to think of myself as not human? Well, for me, it's autism. Especially the unease around humans really aligns with the symptoms of autism, and I think it is largely my autism that gives me this identity. Many other people in the general alterhuman category believe themselves to be nonhuman in a sort of spiritual way, unlike myself. I don't believe in reincarnation or any of that, I just think my particular neurodivergence makes me mentally nonhuman.

Those of you who have ever been to the main page of my website (which should be ALL of you what are you DOING) may have noticed that I have "dragon" listed in my kintypes and may have also used your telepathic powers to divine that I forgot to put "avali" there. What's the deal with that? Can't you only be one creature at a time? Yeah. However, there is a sort of scale to this. It isn't all binary. Certain species feel more "me" to me than others. Spirit so far is the closest I've found to "me", but dragon and avali are pretty close too, in that order. All of these things are things I would like to be, and if I was transformed into any of them, I think I would be able to live out my life much happier and free of dysphoria, regardless of whether it is the true "optimal" form for myself. This is what I want to call the "happy" range: a range of different creatures I could be and be happy about it. Housecat would also probably fit in here.

Next, outside the happy range comes the "habitable" range. This is the range of creatures I could be where I think I would be able to tolerate it and not slowly lose sanity and want to end it all. Some standard anthro animals fit in here, such as anthro wolf, fox, etc. I really truly hope that a human female of my preferred body type fits in here too, since that's all I can realistically achieve with modern medicine. Then we get to the range outside "habitable". This includes things like the current body I inhabit in real life, as well as stuff like generalized birds, or pigs (I'd rather be a human than have a beak).

So what's a human then?

A human is a particular species, referred to by scientists as homo sapiens. But in our culture, it isn't just that. It's the king of the world. It's the superior species. It's the morally superior individual of its own species. It's a term used to separate the worthy from the unworthy, and I FUCKING HATE IT.

What's the deal? Well, "human" becomes a problem when it becomes an adjective, especially with its negative, "inhuman". One time, quite a long time ago, I did something my father didn't like, and he called me "inhuman" as an insult. Skills seen as extreme or otherwise "too good" are considered "inhuman". There is a sense of superiority associated with the word "human". This becomes REALLY problematic when you consider how this has been used to oppress groups.

There are two categories of human, male and female. Only one category, male, is actually human. This is what sexism feels like, especially looking at historical treatments of women. Human women would be treated as lesser, incapable, lacking the "human" spark. In the modern day, they often still are treated this way. Bigots look at LGBTQ+ people and go "that's not human behavior". It's a way to divide people, compare people to the creatures on our planet that are seen as less worthy, non-sentient and incapable of anything of value other than serving the superior species.

This applies to race as well. Historically, in order to justify racism, "scientists" have painstakingly framed their "research" to try to compare people of color to monkeys, again, using the benchmark of "human" superiority as the foundation to their entire claim. This sort of thing has happened constantly and repeatedly, comparing people to various animals seen as lesser including: rats, weasles, monkeys, snakes, sharks, goldfish, dogs, pigs, gnats, and more. The particular culture I live in is largely dominated by the christian religion, which sees humans as "created in the image of god" and therefore superior to all other creatures.

The obsession with "humanity"

Outside of blatant bigotry, I see this concept used a LOT. I never really noticed it before I realized I'm not human, but now that I do see it, I see it almost a concerning amount. I'll go to a website and the captcha will ask me to verify that I'm human, and then I go to the website and it's a blog post and they mention how human it is to create art. People talk about this a lot, even other alterhumans. Even the term "alterhuman" is based on the world "human" as a foundation.

I see all of this and just feel like it's just so... self centered. What makes you better than a dog, or an ant, or a dolphin, anyway? Are you better than that animal? Does it matter? You'll notice I use the term "people" a lot in this post, and that's because I define a "person" as any sentient creature. To me, a pet dog can be a person if they come up to me to comfort me when I'm sad, and have their own unique personality, and have attachments to others. However, I see many people directly one-to-one define "person" as "human" as in "has no fur, scales, or feathers, no tail, has the body shape of a human, has no snout, has non-articulating ears, etc." It's so alien to me that one would define a person by physical traits, and implying that those physical traits create a superior intelligence and manner of thinking.

I want a word for this. A word to replace "human" for all things except defining the particular arrangement of limbs. I do think it's useful to have a term to use in place of "human" for the phrase "the human experience" because that is a genuine topic worth talking about, just with a bit of species superiority stacked into the name. So what, call it "the sapient experience"? Even the word "sapient" is named after homo sapiens. No, I want a new word. However, try as I might, I can't think of any good ones. If you, the reader, know of one in a different language that fits this category, please let me know.

I am not human, but I am a person. I might have a different experience with life, but I still perceive and create art, I still feel emotion, I still love, and cry, and all the other things traditionally called "human". But I'm not a human. I'm a spirit.

Thanks for reading this far! To be honest, writing this was more of a way for me to try to understand my own feelings. I hope it was vaguely coherent. Maybe now, you'll go out and notice just how often people use the word "human" in this emotional/superiority context.